dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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