So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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