Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I lost the right to judge tonight
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
