Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
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