You're completely useless in the revolution.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
