She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
