that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
FUCK WHALES
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
