her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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