As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
