You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
