I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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