Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
