Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
