i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
