Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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