so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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