Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
