I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
