My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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