I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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