Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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