apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
