if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
