My nipple is on Facebook.
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
