she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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