I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Mom said you looked used
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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