I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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