I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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