I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
