did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
