I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
