I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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