she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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