I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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