i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
