He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
