as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I just blew my weed a kiss
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
