Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
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