i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
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