You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
