he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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