I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
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