He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
