i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Too much gin, very little bucket
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
