Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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