Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
