you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
