I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
