three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
