What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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