There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
