Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
